CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 19

" Surround yourself with positive role models. If you want to
be a better tennis player, what do you do? You play tennis with
somebody who is better than you."

What do you mean by "pay it forward"?

Also, be relentless in asking for feedback and be open
in receiving it. The best leaders are always asking what

It's all about what you can do to help somebody else.

they could do better. In interviewing men for my book,

Every time I have reached out to help someone, it has

I asked what one trait they would change about women

come back to me tenfold. The universe has a perfect

at work. The most common answer was, "Quit taking

accounting system. The more you help others, the more

everything so personal." There is a danger when people

help you will get along the way.

sense they cannot give you candid feedback. Even if you

I could tell you hundreds of stories where I thought I

disagree with it, it gives you a chance to find out how

was helping somebody, but they ended up doing so much

others see you. I've learned that it is only those who

more for me. If you go into a relationship thinking about

really care about our success who will tell us the things

what you're going to get out of it and what you can take

we need to hear.

from somebody, you'll never be successful. You should
go into it thinking, "What can I do to help this person?"
That's how you build the relationship. It ends up coming
back to benefit you.

What advice would you give a male
executive who wants to help women
on his team?

What additional advice do you have for
female executives?

Make sure they get equal face time with you. Women are

Surround yourself with positive role models. If you

women; it just does not occur to them that they need

want to be a better tennis player, what do you do? You

to be more inclusive. I have had men tell me they are

play tennis with somebody who is better than you. If

uncomfortable taking a woman on their team to lunch.

you want to be successful at work, you need to identify

often not part of the informal networking that goes on
in corporations. I don't think men consciously exclude

I say to them, "She may not want to go to lunch with

people who have a great attitude, who are maybe a better

you, either, but you can find other ways to work with her.

leader than you, and go hang out with them and ask

You can work together on a special project, or if you're

them to coach you. Even Abraham Lincoln needed that.

giving a speech, ask her to come hear you. Or, better

When he was shot in the Ford Theater, the people who

yet, let her give the speech. You have to find a creative

attended to him found a note in his coat pocket from

way to give her equal face time. Make sure that she gets

somebody nobody had ever heard of. In the note this

the same attention as the men on the team." Also, make

person praised Lincoln and told him what a great leader

sure her voice is heard. If you have one woman (this also

he was. The note was worn out. It was obvious Lincoln

happens to minorities) at a meeting, sometimes it is

read it frequently. We all need people who will affirm

hard for her to speak up, and many times when she does,

us. Surround yourself with positive people who will

her ideas get credited to other people.

affirm you and help make you a better leader.

Make sure you are using a fair process in evaluating

CIO Straight Talk | 19



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6

Contents
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - Cover1
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - Contents
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 3
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 4
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 5
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 6
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 7
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - 8
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CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - InsertA
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CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - InsertB
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CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - Cover3
CIO Straight Talk - Issue 6 - Cover4
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